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R. Kelly's Protege |
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 03:25 AM |
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Duck Dynasty |
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 04:12 AM |
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Here, Wilfred |
Gained your first dog helper. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 03:26 AM |
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Chapelle's Show |
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut. Unlocked: December 18, 2013 09:19 PM |
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Taxidermy with Chuck Testa |
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 03:55 AM |
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Michonne ain't got nothin' on me |
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes. Unlocked: December 18, 2013 09:11 PM |
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Someone's got a case of the Mondays! |
Survived Monday. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 04:35 AM |
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C U Next Tuesday |
Survived Tuesday. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 10:52 PM |
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OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT! |
Survived Wednesday. Unlocked: December 15, 2013 12:13 AM |
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It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays |
Survived Thursday. Unlocked: December 15, 2013 02:31 AM |
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Workin' for the Weekend |
Survived Friday. Unlocked: December 16, 2013 07:46 PM |
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Screw Bill Lumbergh! |
Survived Saturday. Unlocked: December 16, 2013 10:55 PM |
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I swear, I thought it was a home fill |
Exploded a nuclear bomb. Unlocked: December 17, 2013 10:22 PM |
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Cesar Millan is Very Happy |
Mauled 30 people with your dog. Unlocked: December 24, 2013 04:10 AM |
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OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale |
Roasted 30 people with fire. Unlocked: December 21, 2013 03:06 AM |
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Rebecca Black's Nightmare |
Totaled 30 cars. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 10:39 PM |
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Hello, Newman |
Kicked 30 dogs. Unlocked: December 15, 2013 12:41 PM |
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Darth Maul'd! |
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe. Unlocked: December 16, 2013 11:10 PM |
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Reddit would be proud. |
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time. Unlocked: December 17, 2013 12:33 AM |
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Pussy on a Pedestal |
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun. Unlocked: December 15, 2013 12:15 AM |
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I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace |
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 11:41 PM |
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Uncle T-Bag |
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell. Unlocked: December 21, 2013 02:39 AM |
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Do you even Enzyte, bro? |
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 03:39 AM |
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Running With Scissors |
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 11:27 PM |
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Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This! |
Killed over 1,000 people. Unlocked: December 15, 2013 12:46 PM |
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And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree |
Killed all of the book protestors in the library. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 09:13 PM |
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Lieberman is our Leader! |
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 04:05 AM |
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Sheriff Arpaio would be proud. |
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color. Unlocked: December 15, 2013 12:35 AM |
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Can't Touch This |
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face. Unlocked: December 15, 2013 01:42 AM |
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Fear and Loathing |
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session. Unlocked: December 25, 2013 01:56 AM |
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Señor Cornballer |
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform. Unlocked: December 15, 2013 01:45 AM |
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GOOD MORNING VIETNAM! |
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm. Unlocked: December 15, 2013 01:10 AM |
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Rick Grimes 4 Life |
Made 30 zombies lose their heads. Unlocked: December 22, 2013 02:57 AM |
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Anustart! |
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills. Unlocked: December 23, 2013 12:19 AM |
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40 Year Old Virgin |
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.) Unlocked: December 23, 2013 12:19 AM |
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CAN YOU DIG IT?! |
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.) Unlocked: December 25, 2013 02:37 AM |
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Planet of the Apes: The Musical |
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty. Unlocked: December 23, 2013 12:19 AM |
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Scientology Level: OT VIII |
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty. Unlocked: December 30, 2013 03:20 AM |
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Fur Sure! |
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 04:08 AM |
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It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog |
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 03:26 AM |
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Where's Mr. McGibblets? |
Gave Krotchy the bad touch. Unlocked: December 15, 2013 12:34 AM |
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Finkle IS Einhorn! |
Gave a kickoff to a severed head. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 03:26 AM |
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Anger Management With Roger Clemens |
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer. Unlocked: December 15, 2013 01:43 AM |
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Shiva Blast |
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow. Unlocked: December 16, 2013 08:24 PM |
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Don't taze me, bro! |
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform. Unlocked: December 18, 2013 09:47 PM |
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I Am Legend |
Committed suicide... the Taliban way. Unlocked: December 21, 2013 02:26 AM |
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I should buy a boat |
Read the newspaper every day. Unlocked: December 15, 2013 02:32 AM |
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Friend of Dorothy |
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 03:36 AM |
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Officer McLovin' |
Asked a police officer to sign your petition. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 04:38 AM |
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Paid the Piper |
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest. Unlocked: December 21, 2013 02:33 AM |
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Well, aren't YOU a badass |
Kicked open a door. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 03:25 AM |
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I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you |
Put out someone that's on fire. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 03:27 AM |
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It's sterile and I like the taste |
Sucked down your own piss. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 03:28 AM |
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It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway |
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 04:38 AM |
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FAB-U-LOUS! |
Wore all three outfits. Unlocked: December 15, 2013 01:18 AM |
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I don't need virgins for this |
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 08:14 PM |
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A-Rod Who? |
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel. Unlocked: December 18, 2013 09:52 PM |
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Door Mat |
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 09:25 PM |
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Chuck Norris'd! |
Killed someone with a flying jump kick. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 03:40 AM |
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One time, at band camp... |
Saved the marching band from explody death. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 09:01 PM |
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There's always money in the banana stand |
Found the secret bank exit on Monday. Unlocked: December 21, 2013 02:30 AM |
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SCREW that game! |
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it. Unlocked: December 21, 2013 02:46 AM |
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Found 'em faster than GWB |
Discovered the hidden Taliban base. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 08:15 PM |
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Gotta pay the Troll Toll |
Found one of the hidden underground sewers. Unlocked: December 14, 2013 07:49 PM |
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John Rambo'd! |
Made a very long killing spree. Unlocked: December 16, 2013 10:41 PM |
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Gary vs. The K. Man |
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse. Unlocked: December 23, 2013 02:59 AM |
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You are not alone |
Observed an NPC going POSTAL! Unlocked: December 21, 2013 03:13 AM |
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Thanks for the money! |
Finished all seven days. Unlocked: December 18, 2013 09:02 PM |
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GABAGOOOOOL! |
Reunited with an old friend. Unlocked: April 17, 2015 10:44 PM |
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Holocaust: Part Deux |
Reunited with an old enemy. Unlocked: April 18, 2015 11:34 AM |
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Rain on your Wedding Day |
Reunited with an old flame. Unlocked: April 18, 2015 01:13 PM |
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Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad |
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader. Unlocked: April 19, 2015 12:31 PM |
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Better than POSTAL III |
Rescued your loyal companion. Unlocked: April 19, 2015 07:40 PM |
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My Name is Jesus |
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills. Unlocked: April 24, 2015 11:16 PM |
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Harder than r/gonewild |
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty. Unlocked: April 26, 2015 07:27 PM |
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Adderall4All |
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.) Unlocked: April 26, 2015 10:35 PM |
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Ape Gape |
Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive. Unlocked: April 23, 2015 06:59 PM |
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Dick Message |
Wasted no time with the Wise Wang. Unlocked: April 24, 2015 11:42 PM |
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PooMasher |
Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it. Unlocked: April 23, 2015 08:27 PM |
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Hobo Sexual |
Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward. Unlocked: April 23, 2015 09:59 PM |
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Ginger Mint |
Killed Zack Ward. Unlocked: April 18, 2015 12:11 PM |
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Ode to Eddings |
Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units. Unlocked: April 24, 2015 07:21 PM |
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Ladies Love Cake |
Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake. Unlocked: April 18, 2015 01:11 PM |
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Rich on Reddit |
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors. Unlocked: April 19, 2015 12:45 PM |
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BioShocked |
Spent $2000 on vending machines. Unlocked: April 26, 2015 10:21 PM |
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Gettin DP'd |
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding. Unlocked: April 25, 2015 12:02 AM |
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You Snow Nothing John Blow |
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone. Unlocked: April 24, 2015 06:14 PM |
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RAFIBOMB!!! |
Kicked 10 people in the balls. Unlocked: April 24, 2015 11:59 PM |
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I'm not even supposed to be here today! |
Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us! Unlocked: July 01, 2016 07:17 PM |